1. It is not about you, it is about your partner.
She will always need your unwavering support even on the good days and need to know it is okay on the rough days. How you are doing is going to be better than how she is doing so suck it up and take care of her.
2. Waiting in a hospital sucks.
Hospitals are a place for sick people; what I am I doing in here? Uhhhh…see number 1, duh. Go for a walk when you can’t be at your partners side or she is sleeping. My partner was never so beautiful as when she was wheeled out of the operating recovery room so be there for that but don’t worry about worrying inside the hospital, see number 6.
3. Get ready for an avalanche of emotions.
I was a “stuff it down” kind of person – keeping those feelings under control meant I was in control. Through this there will be ups and downs and then thrown sideways into another realm and cramming all of that inside will drown you. It is okay to feel and ride the wave of punches and mixed metaphors; turns out being empathetic works better when you share your feelings. FYI – this will be exhausting so see number 6.
4. Friends and family love you and want to help (but may not know what to do).
Let people know what your partner needs and what you need. You will get flowers and soup…lots of soup (it is good – it nourishes you, freezes and is quick to warm up but every now and then it is nice to chew something). But if you need the dog walked, a load of laundry done, the kids taken out for an hour so you can take care number 1 or number 6 just ask. People will feel better with a tangible task and so will you.
5. Cancer can be funny.
There will be times that there is no appropriate response to what you are going through, so you might as well find the funny and laugh. In the end you will have the same amount of cancer but a little bit more laughter. Crying is exhausting but laughter increases oxygen intake and may give you the energy to address the problem de jour with a clearer head.
6. It is about you.
Yes, it is all about your partner but you will have to find time to take care of yourself. You will need to be a rock, so when you feel like a sponge take time to get focused, but be ready to turn to a rock when your partner needs you. See number 4 – those good folks can give you time, it is a great gift to ask for.
7. Bodily fluids.
Remember university days and holding your friends hair back while the sour puss shooters made their comeback, well those days are probably coming back but without the “fun times” (good thing we sort of grow up). Have a cold cloth ready to wipe foreheads, a clean up kit at the ready, and our friend “bowl-y” for the journey from bed to toilet. Depending in your constitution this could be a tough section to pass through but remember number 1.
8. Understand there will be compassion fatigue.
This is a marathon you and your partner have entered but with intense intervals of sprinting and the inevitable long waits to get into the too few port-a-potties (too vague a sports metaphor?) You are going to be tired but after a while the number of fans who are along the route will seem to dwindle. Friends and family will instinctively be there for the acute phases but during the long stretches they may need reminders. See number 4 – it is okay to ask for help; asking is a strength not a weakness. May you never have to repay the kindness in kind but let them know you are thankful. If you do have to repay the same kindness then re-read this list and what ever you added to it and show the universe what karma is about.
9. Sleep, get it.
The research is there that you aren’t the best you without some quality ZZZs. You want to be there for your partner. Read number 4 again and number 5.
10. It is about you!
This time I mean both of you. You will need each other. It won’t be unicorns pooping rainbows all the time; rather it may be vomiting sleepless nights to name the least. You love each other and both hate the disease; it is okay to be sad together and to be optimistic when your partner is down but be there in the moment.
A.J. Hunter
Great post!
Looking forward to reading more. Great post. Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic. Ally Charley Quackenbush
Simply wanna admit that this is very helpful , Thanks for taking your time to write this. Eliza Mikey Montague
Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It is the little changes which will make the largest changes. Thanks for sharing! Tamiko Diego Hayashi
Can I simply say what a comfort to discover somebody who truly
understands what they are talking about on the net. You definitely understand how to bring
an issue to light and make it important. More and
more people really need to look at this and understand this side of your story.
I can’t believe you aren’t more popular because you
surely have the gift.
Thank you very much. It is apprecaited.
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few
of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but
I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show
the same results.
Thank you for letting us know, it is very appreciated.
This article offers clear idea in support of the new users of blogging, that genuinely how to do blogging.
Thank you!
I think this is one of the most significant information for me.
And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The website
style is ideal, the articles is really excellent : D.
Good job, cheers
It’s truly a great and useful piece of information.
I’m satisfied that you shared this useful info with us.
Please stay us informed like this.
Thanks for sharing.
I don’t know if It’s just me or if everyone else experiencing problems with your site.
It looks like some of the
written text on your posts are running off
the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me
know if this is happening to them as well?
This could be a issue with my
browser because I’ve had this happen previously.
Cheers
We have not heard this from any other comments. I hope that you continue to view our posts.
hey there and thank you for your information – I have certainly picked
up something new from right here. I did however expertise some
technical issues using this web site, since I experienced to reload the web site a lot of times previous to
I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK?
Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times
will sometimes affect your placement in google and could damage your high-quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords.
Well I am adding this RSS to my email and can look out for much more
of your respective exciting content. Ensure that you update
this again very soon.
Hi there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and
say I really enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same topics?
Thank you!
It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the longer term and it
is time to be happy. I have learn this submit and if I may I
desire to counsel you few fascinating issues or advice.
Perhaps you could write subsequent articles regarding this article.
I wish to read more issues approximately it!